Your Stuff

One of the very best George Carlin routines concerns the management of your stuff and the sub-sets of stuff as you continue on your travels. Since the airlines are acting all weird and charging for everything two or three times maybe this will help a little.

One plan that seems to work well is to send stuff ahead to the destination using Fed Ex or UPS then travel light and easily.

If you don’t need huge amounts of stuff try not to take it all, sometimes it helps to actually rehearse the trip day by day and toss the appropriate clothes in a pile accordingly for each day. A little for contingency and away you go.

Packing is a lost art. Shirts that will wrinkle should be folded with a tee shirt laid on them. The tee prevents creases. Pants fold along the crease lines then fold over folded underwear to prevent horizontal creases.

Emply space in the bag and the top still wont close,  improvement can still be made. Things can be put in shoes to save room. Undies can be a bundle or used to fill up little corners of empty space.

Liquids should be in a zip lock to slow down leaks but should always be at the bottom of the bag in hope that if there were a leak shampoo wouldn’t get on everything.

Always take a power strip for your computer, most hotel plugs are behind the bed.

If you use the tub take Lysol to prevent a bad case of athletes Butt.

Dont walk barefoot on the tile, disenfectant will burn your feet.

Always take all of the old tags off of your suitcases, they can be misrouted because of old tags.

When someone asks what your final distination is they mean :Where do you expect this bag to end up?

If you are late and your bag isn’t you should be able to collect your things from the baggage claim office down there by baggage claim somewhere. This is a tempting opportunity to be extra hatefull but nice seems to work real well.

If you haven’t declared excess value and paid a small imsurance surcharge for your bag the upper limit of compensation for a lost or destroyed item is 25 dollars.

People will steal your stuff off of the merrygoround so make sure that your bag is distinct. Thieves want to be able to say they were confused because bags are similiar but if you have a unique scarf, etc. on it this isn’t likely.

Bring earplugs or a good noise attenuating headset, mp3 player, crackers of choice, water,

Happy Landings

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2 Responses to “Your Stuff”

  1. Jan Eerdekens Says:

    I think this is a great George Carlin piece, but he also has an excellent airline related one called ‘Airline Announcements’ on his Jammin’ in New York CD (excerpt: you can all get on the plane now. Fuck that, I’m getting IN the plane).

    I also must say that I quite like your blog as it is insightful and funny, but since a couple of days I’m stuck with a question I think you are best positioned to answer: what nationality will someone that is born in flight get and are there special rules/regulations?

    Keep up the good work.

    • luckyjet1 Says:

      The short answer to the inflight birth is “ohmygodyes”, the long answer probably involves a series of really boring courses of study in Aviation Law and International Treaty.

      I follow a rule adopted years ago when I was an air ambulance pilot … nobody is allowed to change life phase in the airplane. No passing from existing to otherwise, or from otherwise to this life will be tolerated. If not tolerated then certainly not documented.

      Is the passenger / patient alive? He was when we started. Is he alive now? He appears quite stable, but I am a pilot and am not qualified to offer further opinion.

      Anybody that starts out pregnant on my flight will remain so until after landing unless I’m just in a pixical mood and feel like causing a huge international hoowah. The direct logical converse of getting pregnant during flight probably happens a lot but since most flights even with holiday delays are shorter than pregnancy this isn’t really a concern.

      The ICAO (International Civil Aviation Organization) member States treaties govern most of this sort of thing. The ICAO gets together at some dreadful interval or another and a lot of guys in suits motion and submit drafts. The parties are probably great, ambassadors give speeches, there are certainly seminars. And powerpoint presentations.

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