When I Became King for a Week

Day One: Changed the name of the Gulf Of Mexico to the Gulf Of Texas. Mexico complained a little but I told them they could rename the Gulf of California.

Day Two: Mexico still pissy about the “Gulf” thing, made some nasty remark about California being part of Mexico anyway. Then they sent another message about Texas being part of Mexico too. Told them to fuck off and speak better spanish. National speed limit changed to 50mph

Day Three: Truckers very unhappy. I.P.O. stock for my new railroad system goes way up.

Day four: Plan to use trains to carry loads of “debris”  and mud from New Orleans and the gulf of Texas to Arizona and return with loads of rock until flooding will never happen again is ridiculed by the press.

Day Five:”Methane Mountain” plan to use trainloads of poop from New York to make a mountain for gas fuel near the West Texas towns of Midland and Odessa hailed as genius. It turns out that New York poop smells better than Midland did before anyway.

Day Six: Truckers getting pissier by the day. Train stocks and airlines are doing well. Airline industry nationalized just for fun. Pilots really pissed off.

Day seven: Plan to eliminate airport security randomly for just a few minutes a day is hammered by the press. Oil exports stopped. OPEC is stunned, people be freakin. Pilots all go on strike. The airlines couldn’t afford fuel anyway. People riding the poo train for free.

Day Eight: Expected riots for grocerys, none happened. Seems everybody took a shit train to mexico and climbed the fence and headed south.

Maybe now I can rest, King is a hard job

Oh Yea, I almost forgot … Happy Landings.

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