Bendy Things

Why do the wings bend and flex so much in rough air?

So they don’t break. Things than bend are stronger than things that are rigid. Don’t be alarmed by the wings of a jet plane flopping around in rough air, they are made for it.

For the valued customer in the flower print jumpsuit: 

Why did the pilot riding in the back of the airplane give you such a surly look?

Because the seventeenth time you yanked on the back of his seat to haul your self up he was dreaming of choking you. It was only a dream.

Why is there so much “give” in the floor of an airliner that you can feel the floor move when the Flight Attendants tromp back and forth?

Three reasons really. Some F/A s never seem to walk gracefully, they tromp. Maybe it makes them feel more stable. The floor is made to be light, not rigid. We could make the floor feel really strong but then we couldn’t carry passengers or fuel because of the extra weight.

Why do people slam the overhead bin doors so damn hard when all that is required is that they be pushed closed? Nobody really knows.

Why don’t the airlines charge people for breaking things like overhead bin doors when they are cramming stuff in the bin that is obviously to big? They just haven’t thought of it yet but when they do . . . .

Why don’t the airlines charge for reservations like a rental car company or hotel? Then maybe they wouldn’t need to “overbook” in order to sell the seats. Nobody knows.

Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because their ears hurt. Or they are pissed off about a weather delay, it’s hard to tell.

Why can’t we all just be more flexible and compassionate?  Who the hell says we ain’t.


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