Rats On A Plane

Did you ever notice that when ships are at the pier they have funnel looking things on the ropes. These are supposed to keep the rats from walking up the ropes and getting on the ship. It’s a shame they didn’t think of that before rats were everywhere.

Did you ever notice that when airplanes are parked at the “Gate”, “Jetway”, “Jetbridge”, whatever, there is usually a gap between the bridge and the airplane. This is to prevent unwanted entry by bad guys, evil doers, and … rats. Rats can’t fly a plane, as far as we know, so the rodent evil doer aspect isn’t really a problem. They can chew up wiring but for the most part anything they could get to easily wouldn’t really hurt much of anything.  That’s what they tell us anyway.

The real problem with rodents on a plane is the people.  When people see a rodent in a confined space some of them lose touch with civilized behaviour in a dramatic way.  We had a Flight Attendant come up front ( in complete compliance with FAA, DOT, TSA, HSA, and decency guidelines) and during said visit it was mentioned that we thought a mouse or something had chewed some snacks that were left in the cockpit.  I showed her the tiny teeth marks on a pretzel bag.

I thought it was strange that after a few minutes she hadn’t left but rather was perched up on the little jump seat with her feet all up under her not saying anything.  Maybe she was resting….. but it was a short flight. This doesn’t happen much these days, for a lot of reasons, so I asked if she was going to hang out or not since we were about to start down.

No response, just a head shake. So which is it, no you aren’t going to hang out, or no you aren’t going to go?  By now our other valued co-workers were questioning if she was coming out or not.  When she finally did talk all she could say was “I’m not putting my feet on that fucking floor till you find that fucking rat!” I know that’s all she could say since she repeated it several times.

A few minutes later I turned some light on and told her that it was really time to go and we hadn’t actually seen a rat, just teeth marks. There was just a blur as she bolted out of the door and slammed it behind her without saying goodbye or anything.  What an eccentric performance. Yea, I guess she doesn’t like rats much. We turned all the lights back down to normal and continued for an otherwise normal approach and landing.

What we didn’t know was that when she left the flight deck she had pretty much run through the cabin hysterically blabbering about RATS ON THE PLANE. After coming to the “full and complete” stop at the gate with the seatbelt sign turned off only a few of the nearly 150 people on the plane got up.

Evidently about everybody doesn’t like rats much.


2 Responses to “Rats On A Plane”

  1. Associated Press, Jan 10, 2008

    “Crew find 8 baby mice aboard airplane”


  2. Adam Keck Says:

    This post made my day ;). I always wonder why full grown human beings, 100 times larger than a mouse, have such bizarre reactions to the little things… Maybe it’s because they are hard to track with our slower reflexes.

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